by Liz Derry, CPM, LM
(This post when first published online was originally titled "WHAT CAN A DAD DO? FATHERHOOD DURING LABOR, BIRTH, AND BEYOND". )
[an aside as I repost this, when this was originally written I had a few comments about these images and ideas presented being merely a fairy tale. The truth is, that I see these type of images and behaviors between laboring couples more often than not. When couples are well supported in their wishes and being watched over by a midwife they trust, it is amazing what happens. I have also seen dads and moms connect and work together with love in well supported hospital births with a doula present. Even the most reluctant dad when he feels safe and secure and when he sees that is wife needs him can be there for his wife. Not all dads are the same. They each have their own style of support. This is perfect. Each mom is different as well, and the father of her child is uniquely suited to help her. I will repost soon the post that talks about ways Dad can help support Mom.]
Today the majority of babies are born to moms and dads in hospitals. A large percentage of
these moms will have epidurals. Many of these labors and births will involve mom laying in bed
resting, watching tv, surfing the internet, giving the play by play on Facebook. All while Dad does
the same. There is very often little interaction between mom and dad leading up to the birth of
their baby, and the extent to which dad plays a part is often left to merely being the designated
cord cutter.
It doesn't have to be that way. In fact, I truly believe it shouldn't be that way. Labor and birth
should be a time of intimacy and love between mother and father that strengthens their bond
and helps them enter parenthood closer than ever.